February 2011 - Happy New Year?
It’s not too late to wish you all a Happy New Year, is it?
I tell you 2011 has come at a very inconvenient time for me.
I was just getting used to 2010.
As an old friend of mine, Unfortunate O’Day, once told me: “It’s no use rushing into things.” Which is rather ironic as he was one of the most impulsive Irishmen I’ve ever known.
He got married after a mere seventeen year engagement.
You would think Unfortunate O’Day would have learned the consequences of impulsive behavior from a friend who invited a woman into his life.
He told her to treat his home as her own and she did. She sold it.
The New Year Period is a harrowing time.
It’s on a par with trying to keep a secret from the Leader of the Opposition. I don’t believe I’m alone here. They can tell you have a secret. Oh, they can tell from a distance of 400 metres they can tell you have a secret.
You enter the house and get the “Well.”
It’s not the how is your health well.
It’s the hands on the hips WELL???
Followed by the arms folded and the stare.
I call it the Medusa stare that can turn a man to stone.
And the terrible silence that loudly screams: “Tell me or else!!!”
I’ve never gone as far as the “or else” because to me, the or else conjures up images of Guantanamo and Abu Grabe.
There are brave men, heroic men, men of legend who have no terror, ignoring the “or else” and preserving their secrets.
How do they do it?
The brave man will not change his habits.
I am not one of them.
I’m like the nun who fell in the mud.
My habits get changed quicker then you can say “or else.” I put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket without being asked.
The brave man wont.
I put the lid down on the toilet.
He won’t. I put out the garbage.
Not him, not even when he is asked.
I was never brave, just cunning.
For many years I would hide my cash stash so the Leader of the Opposition wouldn’t find it. Leaving it in a back pocket didn’t work, even when I left the $20 offering in my wallet.
I used to put it in the last place she would look….her purse.
As I mentioned earlier, the holiday period can be harrowing what with uninvited and unwanted guests.
And I’ve had plenty this year.
They came and nearly ate me out of house and home. I’m talking termites, millions of them.
I blame the wet weather.
I can just imagine the termites saying:”Let’s get out of the rain…let’s go to his place.
He’s got plenty of walls, he won’t miss one.” Thanks to Paul the poisoner who gave up his holiday and gave them what for.
Anyway, I wish you all a Happy New Year. May 2011 be the prosperous 2010 that 2009 was supposed to be in 2008.
My wish for us all is:”MAY OUR TROUBLES LAST AS LONG AS OUR RESOLUTIONS.”